Wardrobe Wisdom (in his opinion anyway...)

Wardrobe Wisdom hands over the writing reins to a fellow fashion blogger and bona fide Straight Dude EnglishFashion, who works through what tickles him in women's wardrobe decisions...

Being asked to write about fashion seems a strange thing, particularly when I don’t consider myself to be that fashionable. It feels a little…well…hypocritical.

So I've decided to write about what I (and many other men) like to see women in, some of which is my own opinion, some of which I've come to know from being in my early thirties and having friends who, believe it or not, do actually comment on what you’re wearing. We just usually make sure you (or any of your friends) aren't listening.

Let’s start from the top: hats – a simple no. Sure, some women suit hats, but that doesn't mean you should wear them. I might suit canvas deck shoes but you won’t ever see me in a pair! [Editors note: we’ll see about that...]

Hats, tiaras, fascinators or whatever else you want to put on your bonce are reserved simply for the queen, or women who think it’s ok to go to the shops in their pyjamas as if no-one will know. Even at Royal Ascot on Ladies Day I’m afraid it’s become a no, no. Wearing a fascinator to a horse race does not make you classy I’m afraid.

Tops are difficult; a lot of it depends on a woman’s shape, her complexion and all the other things that you already know. I remember being in a store with an ex girlfriend and we both agreed that this white top was lovely, but yet she kept saying it wouldn't suit her. I asked her to try it on anyway, she indulged me, and I was amazed that she was right, it didn't suit her, but it was indeed a lovely top.

Generally I would say, no matter what your size, or what you think your size is, don’t cover up. I don’t mean walk around naked or nearly naked, I mean, a flash of flesh: around the neck, your upper torso, arms, back, etc...

Next, the contentious area of your legs (well, at least to you). A nice pair of fitted jeans always work well, see also cut-off trousers and pencil skirts. Something that shows off your figure and legs, or at least part of them. I have met, and been out with, quite a few women who wouldn't ever show off their legs saying they ‘weren't nice’ or they were ‘too frumpy’ or worse still ‘too white’. Seriously ladies, unless your legs are translucent no man cares if your legs are pale. Seriously, we just don’t. We’d care more if your legs were orange from oodles of fake tan – now there’s a turn-off.

Now for the shoes. Women don’t seem to realise that men pay more attention to your shoes then you may think. They say you can tell a lot about a man from his shoes and you know what? It works both ways. Shoes can make or break an outfit. I've never met a man who doesn't like a woman in high heels; let’s just get that out of the way right now. And boots, I've never met a man who doesn't like a woman in boots, be they ankle, knee or thigh (thought the latter have to be carefully though about in an outfit!). Now we know heels hurt, they’re uncomfortable and if you’re six foot tall then it simply might not be practical, so you know what, that’s fine, don’t wear them then. But if you do wear them out with your man, he should accommodate you, walk slower than usual, and take his time over cobbles and uneven pavements. That’s the least we can do. Heels just do something to a woman, they seem to give her confidence, they change the shape of her legs in a way nothing else can and they look amazing! A pair of heels can really set off even the most simplest of outfits, a fitted pair of jeans and a pair of heels – fantastic.

Accessories are a different matter, yet women seem really hung up on them. I can honestly say I've never been out with my friends only for them to turn around and say “well I really like that woman over there, but heck, that jewellery she’s wearing is a real turn-off” or “I really like that woman but man she needs a necklace!” Never happened. The rule is, I think, to keep it simple: someone once told me she takes off an item of jewellery just before she leaves the house as every woman will always put on more than actually suits. [Editor’s Note: well, actually Coco Chanel said this first but every woman should adhere to it.] Having said that though, jewellery is a nice finishing touch to an outfit and putting on, and taking off, your girl’s necklace at the end of the night is a nice thing to do. Particularly as it can start the whole kissing of the neck and who knows where that may lead...